Sometimes a limiting belief masquerades itself as an absolute truth that’s gone unquestioned in your psyche.
An example of this in my life was my belief that “All relationships get worse over time.”
And guess what had been happening in my life? My relationships all went downhill, fast. I had just never questioned it because it seemed like something inevitable and universal.
Once I discovered this belief – and other nasty ones like “If my partner leaves me, it just confirms that I’m deeply flawed and incapable of having a relationship” – I was able to make a choice.
Something unconscious had become conscious and I was now free from the invisible puppet strings.
These “truths” were simply perspectives and I could now work on having different ones. How empowering!
And you can do the same, dissolving your limiting beliefs and accomplishing more.
Here are the 3 steps to take the crunchiest limiting belief you have and apply real healing techniques that’ll free you from its grasp.
1. Do The Emotional Healing Work
Most people leap to criticizing the limiting belief and wanting to eradicate it straight away. “Oh that’s stupid, I shouldn’t believe that” and “I need to stop this right now!”
But the first step is to actually allow yourself to feel the emotional charge behind the belief in one of the four key flavors of uncomfortable emotions: anger, sadness, shame, and guilt.
Once you give yourself the space to feel how much it’s actually hurt you to believe this for so long, you can then move forward to “problem-solve” your way out of it.
2. Balance The Scale
In this exercise, you’ll bring to the surface something your mind is doing unconsciously all the time. collecting evidence in favor of its existing beliefs and perspectives — and you’ll give yourself the chance to balance the scale.
Take a sheet of paper and divide the page into two.
- On the top of the left-hand side, write the limiting belief out (ie. My partner is going to leave me).
- On the right-hand side, write an opposite belief that is equally as true and much more empowering. My partner and I have a strong connection that continues to grow, for example.
Now on each side of the page, let’s look at your life and write down evidence for each of those perspectives.
Then take it a step further — what are three things you could consciously choose to make happen this week that would add to the evidence list on the right side? (i.e. Take my partner on a special date, fall asleep holding each other, ask for some extra words of affirmation).
Repeat this process every week for a month and watch the evidence tip the scale over so that the left side becomes genuinely ludicrous.
3. Find Something To Believe More
Some of our beliefs are linked to wounds so deep inside that they may never completely heal and disappear. The real work then is to accept and love ourselves even with our fears and crazy limiting beliefs.
What can you do when you’re faced with a belief that seems wedged into the deepest crevice of your soul?
Well, you create spaciousness around it.
You fill yourself up with compassion and loving-kindness towards this part of yourself, and allow it to be there because there’s room for it — and so much more.
When I discovered a belief that seemed insurmountable no matter the work I did – “If my partner leaves me, it just confirms that I’m deeply flawed and incapable of having a relationship” – I decided to create a space for it to still be there.
But I also created room for the belief I wanted more of (“If my partner leaves me, I am perfectly whole and trust in something even better coming my way”), which became my mantra when the other one flared up.
Both could remain present inside of me, but my focus was conscious.
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What’s been the most effective way you’ve found to work with limiting beliefs? Share your insight with us in the comments below!